Can I just take a minute to thank all the new twitter followers. Thank you all, I hope this coninues and helps others.
Today I am going to change Dannie's daily quote slightly and explain how frustration can lead to doing things which you later regret. This quote isn't so much about Dannie but more about what I have unfortunatly done through pure frustration with others.
During Dannie's primary school, I fought the school for endless days trying to get some sort of help for Dannie in class only to be told over and over that Dannie was fine and she had no problems at all in school. (This was before Dannie was diagnosed.) I was lucky enough to have help from the family and childrens liason officers and without them I no doubt would have been banned from the school over many situations but they always managed to smooth the water again for me.
How may times have you felt like screaming at the top of your voice "DON'T MIND ME I'M ONLY HER MOTHER"
Well if you have had to fight as long as I have this number is probably in the hundreds.
What I found out with Aspergers children is that in some cases our children manage to stay calm in one area but not in others, in my case Dannie was calm in school but not at home. So all the problems I was seeing at home didn't happen in school, so to them, Dannie didn't have a problem. She had no disability or problems, yea she was behind in some subjects but that was all. At one point I was even told that many AS kids do not get diagnosed until they are at least 7 or 8.
To which I replied "So you are intending to leave her hanging for the next 3 years then?" It didn't go down well, I was just told again that Dannie was fine and not to worry so much.
(Great now I've been classed as a parent that worries too much) that went down like a lead baloon I can assure you.
The amount of times that I was told that Dannie was just being Dannie, well I'd be a millionare by now if I had a pound for every time I heard that.
Anyway back to the point.
One day I had had enough of the fighting with the school and being told how 'perfect' Dannie was in school that one day I thought to myself (In anger) "Well if you really want to see the Dannie I see then thats what you will have.
I knew that Dannie was hyperactive and that E numbers and orange juice made her worse to the point of no control so I did no more than give her a packet of smarties for breakfast followed by a glass of orange juice.
Dannie was most put out because I had taught her from an early age to stay away from these kinds of food and drink. But my mind was set.
Dannie at that time attended breakfast club, so I sent her to school with 3 more cartons of orange juice and another 3 packets of smarties, Dannie left for breakfast club and I smiled to myself thinking "Now lets see if you still think Dannie is fine, I had images of the classroom being destroyed, Dannie shouting, arguing with anyone and everyone you name it I thought it.
It took me around half an hour to come to my senses and realise that maybe this wasn't the bes way to get my point across. But things had spiralled so far with the school that I could think of no other way of showing them what Dannie was really like.
But what I didn't realise was that my plan had backfired because Dannie had done no more than go into breakfast club and handed all the orange juice and smarties to the family liason officer who was on duty at the time and proceeded to tell her that she wasn't aloud to eat or drink this stuff because it turned her angry and she didn't want to get into trouble at school.(guess I taught her too well about E numbers and orange juice)
So Dannie didn't drink the rest of the juice it was placed in the bin and Dannie was given time for the stuff she had already taken to wear off.
So that went down well with the Family liason officer when she called me later that day to let me know that Dannie had done the right thing. (I can still hear my ears ringing from that conversation.)
So I guess the lesson I learned there is not to let your anger take over.
Believe me I know how frusrating it is not being believed or having to wait for things to get better but things will work out in the end in their own way. I will explain in another blog how this eventually came about.
So I guess all I can say is stay strong and things will come, the waiting game is not an easy one but things do work out right in the end.
Reading By Colour
Monday, 25 January 2010
Monday, 18 January 2010
Poem I Wrote For Dannie
If I had a wish that could come true,
That wish I would make would be for you,
I’ll tell you what my one wish would be,
I wish people could see the Dannie I see.
The Dannie I see is loving and smart,
The Dannie that draws the most wonderful art,
The Dannie that’s funny, always making me laugh,
The Dannie that’s only twelve and a half.
The Dannie who’s beautiful inside and out,
The Dannie who sometimes will scream and shout,
The Dannie that loves animals, no matter what kind,
The Dannie that has an incredible strong mind.
The Dannie that’s generous and loves all friends,
The Dannie that always tries to make amends,
The Dannie that has the loveliest voice,
The Dannie who sings the songs of her choice.
If I could choose what to change about you,
I would change nothing at all, that’s honestly true,
Because everything about you makes you who you are,
That wish I would make would be for you,
I’ll tell you what my one wish would be,
I wish people could see the Dannie I see.
The Dannie I see is loving and smart,
The Dannie that draws the most wonderful art,
The Dannie that’s funny, always making me laugh,
The Dannie that’s only twelve and a half.
The Dannie who’s beautiful inside and out,
The Dannie who sometimes will scream and shout,
The Dannie that loves animals, no matter what kind,
The Dannie that has an incredible strong mind.
The Dannie that’s generous and loves all friends,
The Dannie that always tries to make amends,
The Dannie that has the loveliest voice,
The Dannie who sings the songs of her choice.
If I could choose what to change about you,
I would change nothing at all, that’s honestly true,
Because everything about you makes you who you are,
That’s why I love Dannie the best by far.
review By Kathryn
I read this book with my 10yr old son who has aspergers,I found it an interesting and unique insight into living with an AS child and also a relief to see that many of the problems we face are also experienced by others.Whilst reading some of 'Dannies' thoughts I asked my son if that was the way he felt during similar circumstances and his response was " well duh, doesn't everybody " which I took as a yes and it has made me more aware of his reactions whilst we are out.
The only slightly negative point I have is that although we discussed which solution he would have gone for and which I would haved liked him to take he wanted to know which 'Dannie' had chosen and which her mum would have preferred,not in the context of which was the right and which the wrong choice but because he wanted to know if our choices were the same as yours.On that note maybe it would be possible to add at the end which choice 'Dannie' made?
All in all though we enjoyed the book and look forward to reading another.
Kathryn
The only slightly negative point I have is that although we discussed which solution he would have gone for and which I would haved liked him to take he wanted to know which 'Dannie' had chosen and which her mum would have preferred,not in the context of which was the right and which the wrong choice but because he wanted to know if our choices were the same as yours.On that note maybe it would be possible to add at the end which choice 'Dannie' made?
All in all though we enjoyed the book and look forward to reading another.
Kathryn
Saturday, 16 January 2010
Review By Janet from facebook
I have just read through Dannie's Dilemma's
Firstly I like the poem at the beginning.
There are many text books out there giving the symptoms associated with the Triad of impairments but as far as I am aware not a lot of books that highlight the diffitulties encountered in true to life situations by children and adults on the ASD spectrum.
The production of this book is a good idea and a series of these would help plug the market, in my opinion. It is a novel idea to end the scenario with a choice of endings which will help develop imaginative skills, communication and theory of mind. The concept of the stories in itself could be classed as an aid to development.
The stories raise awareness of the difficulties encountered along the way and the need for others to adapt the way they phrase what they say in order to allow a better understanding.
It also highlights the ignorance that many people show towards disability, as in the shoe shop scenario, where the assistant mistood lack of understanding and difficulty with choice and possibly sensory issues immaturiaty.
You obviously have a good relationship with your daughter which
is good, she does well to communicate her thoughts so well to you.
Firstly I like the poem at the beginning.
There are many text books out there giving the symptoms associated with the Triad of impairments but as far as I am aware not a lot of books that highlight the diffitulties encountered in true to life situations by children and adults on the ASD spectrum.
The production of this book is a good idea and a series of these would help plug the market, in my opinion. It is a novel idea to end the scenario with a choice of endings which will help develop imaginative skills, communication and theory of mind. The concept of the stories in itself could be classed as an aid to development.
The stories raise awareness of the difficulties encountered along the way and the need for others to adapt the way they phrase what they say in order to allow a better understanding.
It also highlights the ignorance that many people show towards disability, as in the shoe shop scenario, where the assistant mistood lack of understanding and difficulty with choice and possibly sensory issues immaturiaty.
You obviously have a good relationship with your daughter which
is good, she does well to communicate her thoughts so well to you.
review By Jeff Strong
Just read Dannie's Dilemmas. Boy! I had no idea what it is like to interact with an Asperger child! That could sure get tiring in a hurry!
I did like the "dialogue" style of writing. It really has to be that way to get the full experience of what the interaction is like. It also made me realize how dangerously cl...ose to Aspergers a lot of people are. I started to see myself in Dannies's shoes once in a while. I think I left the book wanting to know how best to live with Dannie. It did seem that when Dannie and Mum could talk and interact at the same level, things were much better. I also see how easy it is for conflict to escalate out of control.
All in all, I liked the story.
Jeff Strong"
I did like the "dialogue" style of writing. It really has to be that way to get the full experience of what the interaction is like. It also made me realize how dangerously cl...ose to Aspergers a lot of people are. I started to see myself in Dannies's shoes once in a while. I think I left the book wanting to know how best to live with Dannie. It did seem that when Dannie and Mum could talk and interact at the same level, things were much better. I also see how easy it is for conflict to escalate out of control.
All in all, I liked the story.
Jeff Strong"
another review from facebook thank you Jill
I was asked to review this book by Karen and although I have no personal experience with Aspergers I found the book very enlightening.
The difficulties Dannie faces everyday from getting up and making people understand her and trying to understand this weird world she lives in, she has done with remarkable courage and laughter partly due to having an understanding Mum who can laugh with her.
I'm sure Dannie's Mum gets just as frustrated as Dannie does sometimes but they get through it.
I really enjoyed reading this and I'm sure it will be helpful to many families who live with Aspergers to enable them to see a lighter side to this condition.
Well done to Dannie for letting her thoughts and feelings be written down and to her Mum for writing it in such a way that we can all understand and appreciate life with an Aspergers child. It made me laugh and cry, a wonderful book.
Good luck with everything you do and hope we have many more stories like these.
Jill
The difficulties Dannie faces everyday from getting up and making people understand her and trying to understand this weird world she lives in, she has done with remarkable courage and laughter partly due to having an understanding Mum who can laugh with her.
I'm sure Dannie's Mum gets just as frustrated as Dannie does sometimes but they get through it.
I really enjoyed reading this and I'm sure it will be helpful to many families who live with Aspergers to enable them to see a lighter side to this condition.
Well done to Dannie for letting her thoughts and feelings be written down and to her Mum for writing it in such a way that we can all understand and appreciate life with an Aspergers child. It made me laugh and cry, a wonderful book.
Good luck with everything you do and hope we have many more stories like these.
Jill
Thursday, 14 January 2010
Dannie's quote of the day
Hi all again,
sorry I missed yesterday, was not intended anyway here is todays.
This again was when Dannie was around three, it was near xmas and I had brought most of Dannie's presents, at the time she was really into 'the big purple dinosaur' I'm sure you know who I'm talking about. That dino has a lot to answer for I can assure you.
Anyway, I had bought Dannie a talking one and wrapped it up but put it on top of our fridge as Dannie was searching the house and opening everything that even resembled a xmas present. (She still wasn't quite getting the idea of xmas day.)
To Dannie if it had her name on it then it belonged to her so in her eyes she had every right to open it. I can see her point but Dannie still couldn't read so anything with the letter D on was now according to Dannie hers. (Which included the diet coke, the Dell, the Dyson I think you get the idea, and all family presents to others that began with D.
So I had to hide all the present in places where she couldn't reach.
This particular day, I was speaking to my parents on the phone when Dannie ran in shouting,
"Barney is in the fridge, Barney is in the fridge." Over and over. I had to hang up the phone and go and investigate because I had forgotten all about the wrapped up present on top of the fridge.
When I got in the kitchen and realised the damn thing was talking (lovely toy shop left the batteries in it.). There I was staring at a wrapped up xmas present which was singing away "I love you"
Dannie meanwhile is all excited and jumpung up and down still shouting he is in the fridge.
I quickly called back my parents and asked them to keep Dannie talking on the phone while I rushed into the kitchen, unwrapped that lovely purple friend, and took the batteries out and hid it again somewhere in my room, I can't honestly remember where.
So I took the phone off of Dannie and told my parents it was all clear.
When I hung the phone up Dannie had done no more than empty out my whole fridge, all over the kitchen floor, still convinced this dino was in my fridge.
When she couldn't find him I was then screamed at "You killed him." (Charming)
I had to think fast, so I told Dannie that Barney was in the kitchen but he had to go and say hello to some other children and that he had just popped round to see if she had been behaving.
"Okay" she said as charming as you liked and walked off back to whatever it was she was doing before 'her friend had popped in to say hello'
Meanwhile I was left to clear up the what I can only describe as food fight which was now all over my kitchen floor. Milk,cheese, eggs, ham, you name it, it was on the floor.
Neadless to say I had to do another shopping trip the next day to replace all the food.
Thanks Barney.
Example of once they believe you cant change their minds.
sorry I missed yesterday, was not intended anyway here is todays.
This again was when Dannie was around three, it was near xmas and I had brought most of Dannie's presents, at the time she was really into 'the big purple dinosaur' I'm sure you know who I'm talking about. That dino has a lot to answer for I can assure you.
Anyway, I had bought Dannie a talking one and wrapped it up but put it on top of our fridge as Dannie was searching the house and opening everything that even resembled a xmas present. (She still wasn't quite getting the idea of xmas day.)
To Dannie if it had her name on it then it belonged to her so in her eyes she had every right to open it. I can see her point but Dannie still couldn't read so anything with the letter D on was now according to Dannie hers. (Which included the diet coke, the Dell, the Dyson I think you get the idea, and all family presents to others that began with D.
So I had to hide all the present in places where she couldn't reach.
This particular day, I was speaking to my parents on the phone when Dannie ran in shouting,
"Barney is in the fridge, Barney is in the fridge." Over and over. I had to hang up the phone and go and investigate because I had forgotten all about the wrapped up present on top of the fridge.
When I got in the kitchen and realised the damn thing was talking (lovely toy shop left the batteries in it.). There I was staring at a wrapped up xmas present which was singing away "I love you"
Dannie meanwhile is all excited and jumpung up and down still shouting he is in the fridge.
I quickly called back my parents and asked them to keep Dannie talking on the phone while I rushed into the kitchen, unwrapped that lovely purple friend, and took the batteries out and hid it again somewhere in my room, I can't honestly remember where.
So I took the phone off of Dannie and told my parents it was all clear.
When I hung the phone up Dannie had done no more than empty out my whole fridge, all over the kitchen floor, still convinced this dino was in my fridge.
When she couldn't find him I was then screamed at "You killed him." (Charming)
I had to think fast, so I told Dannie that Barney was in the kitchen but he had to go and say hello to some other children and that he had just popped round to see if she had been behaving.
"Okay" she said as charming as you liked and walked off back to whatever it was she was doing before 'her friend had popped in to say hello'
Meanwhile I was left to clear up the what I can only describe as food fight which was now all over my kitchen floor. Milk,cheese, eggs, ham, you name it, it was on the floor.
Neadless to say I had to do another shopping trip the next day to replace all the food.
Thanks Barney.
Example of once they believe you cant change their minds.
Review of Dannie's Dilemmas 2
here is our 2nd review.
What a wonderful insight, to how a young girl perseves the world with aspergers. How difficult it is to control her emotions with family and the Neuro typical world, without getting into trouble. Dannies stories, provide, explain, clarify how she has to deal with everything from the time she wakes up in the morning, to getting through the day and dealing with people who just dont understand her let alone get her.
Yes it can be frustrating for parents to have to keep reminding Asperger kids what they have to do, why they react in a certain way, but at the end of the day, Dannie's Mum was always there for her, and had her best intested at heart.
I truely enjoyed reading these stories, so much so that I happened to be in a toy shop today with both my kiddies (Paul 7 autism, Rachel 5 hearing difficulties) and I applied the situation that given 3 choices to pick a toy they want to swap. I had to tailor it a little differently but the idea worked.
Karen thank you so much for letting me be one of the members to pre-read the book. Well done to Dannie for having the courage to do the stories, which exposed so much of herself, how she sees the world and how the world deals with her. To Dannies supports for providing a guidance to her. The book made me laugh, teary and gave me another insight to my own son and how he thinks and the way he may view the world around him.
Good luck with these stories, and heres to may more that may arrive in the near future. Well Done to all involved and for a job well done
I hope this helps.
Many thanks
Adrienne
What a wonderful insight, to how a young girl perseves the world with aspergers. How difficult it is to control her emotions with family and the Neuro typical world, without getting into trouble. Dannies stories, provide, explain, clarify how she has to deal with everything from the time she wakes up in the morning, to getting through the day and dealing with people who just dont understand her let alone get her.
Yes it can be frustrating for parents to have to keep reminding Asperger kids what they have to do, why they react in a certain way, but at the end of the day, Dannie's Mum was always there for her, and had her best intested at heart.
I truely enjoyed reading these stories, so much so that I happened to be in a toy shop today with both my kiddies (Paul 7 autism, Rachel 5 hearing difficulties) and I applied the situation that given 3 choices to pick a toy they want to swap. I had to tailor it a little differently but the idea worked.
Karen thank you so much for letting me be one of the members to pre-read the book. Well done to Dannie for having the courage to do the stories, which exposed so much of herself, how she sees the world and how the world deals with her. To Dannies supports for providing a guidance to her. The book made me laugh, teary and gave me another insight to my own son and how he thinks and the way he may view the world around him.
Good luck with these stories, and heres to may more that may arrive in the near future. Well Done to all involved and for a job well done
I hope this helps.
Many thanks
Adrienne
Book reviews from facebook
Sorry to all that I haven't had a chance to write yesterdays Daily quote yet I will be doing it shortly. I started the group Dannie's Dilemmas Aspegers Kids In Mind last week on Facebook and we now have almost 200 members Thank you all for joining.
I sent a message to the group asking for twenty members to recieve a free copy of the book and to write a review, good or bad but an honest review.
I have also asked a few people on twitter to do the same, and I will post all the reviews on here good or bad, I don't believe in holding back bad reviews I believe that everyone deserves to have an honest and upfront veiw from others.
Here is the fisrt review we have recieved back. If you would like to do a review yourself please leave me a message and I promise I will get back to you.
Review of Dannie's Dilemmas, by Carol Haldane and Karen Jones.
I was fortunate enough to be sent a copy of the above book to review by Karen Jones. Karen and I go back a long way being relatives by marriage. I am a freelance writer myself and have to admit that I knew very little about Aspergers syndrome before reading Dannie's Dilemmas but having read the book, I feel I have a greater understanding of the condition.
The book is written in a simple and humorous fashion. Dannie's take on everyday occurrences, such as getting ready for a shopping trip with her mother, are explained from the perspective of a child with Aspergers and also from her mother's viewpoint. Who hasn't felt frustrated with their child for taking too long to get ready? Yet for Dannie, a getting ready for a simple trip to the shops is fraught with confusion and frustration. Her mother uses everyday language which most of us would instantly understand, but to Dannie, a common saying such as 'don't run on the stairs', is nonsensical and bizarre.
Of course she doesn't run on the stairs, she runs up or down the stairs!
I particularly liked the new shoe buying scenario and Dannie's comment that you need to get to know your new shoes, is just so true!
Dannie's Dilemmas is a remarkable book, the authors have used everyday situations to highlight the difficulties facing a parent with a child with Aspergers. Dannie comes over as an intelligent, likeable girl whose view of the world around her is coloured by her condition, however what shines through is her mother's determination to have Dannie treated as a child, not as a child with a 'condition'. It occurred to me as I read the book that there are so many idioms and colloquial sayings in daily usage, which are totally meaningless. 'Pull your socks up' or 'I laughed my head off' come to mind, to a person with Asperger's, these would be at best rather silly, at worst tragic!
I enjoyed Dannie's Dilemmas and would recommend the book to anyone with an interest in Aspergers syndrome. The interactive idea works well and the different endings to the scenarios is a stroke of genius, for the purposes of reviewing the book I read both endings and found I could relate to both the child and her mother's decisions.
Well done Lennie and Karen and best of luck with the book, it is a credit to you both and of course to 'Dannie' without whom the book would never have been written!
©Linda Blomquist. January 2010.
I sent a message to the group asking for twenty members to recieve a free copy of the book and to write a review, good or bad but an honest review.
I have also asked a few people on twitter to do the same, and I will post all the reviews on here good or bad, I don't believe in holding back bad reviews I believe that everyone deserves to have an honest and upfront veiw from others.
Here is the fisrt review we have recieved back. If you would like to do a review yourself please leave me a message and I promise I will get back to you.
Review of Dannie's Dilemmas, by Carol Haldane and Karen Jones.
I was fortunate enough to be sent a copy of the above book to review by Karen Jones. Karen and I go back a long way being relatives by marriage. I am a freelance writer myself and have to admit that I knew very little about Aspergers syndrome before reading Dannie's Dilemmas but having read the book, I feel I have a greater understanding of the condition.
The book is written in a simple and humorous fashion. Dannie's take on everyday occurrences, such as getting ready for a shopping trip with her mother, are explained from the perspective of a child with Aspergers and also from her mother's viewpoint. Who hasn't felt frustrated with their child for taking too long to get ready? Yet for Dannie, a getting ready for a simple trip to the shops is fraught with confusion and frustration. Her mother uses everyday language which most of us would instantly understand, but to Dannie, a common saying such as 'don't run on the stairs', is nonsensical and bizarre.
Of course she doesn't run on the stairs, she runs up or down the stairs!
I particularly liked the new shoe buying scenario and Dannie's comment that you need to get to know your new shoes, is just so true!
Dannie's Dilemmas is a remarkable book, the authors have used everyday situations to highlight the difficulties facing a parent with a child with Aspergers. Dannie comes over as an intelligent, likeable girl whose view of the world around her is coloured by her condition, however what shines through is her mother's determination to have Dannie treated as a child, not as a child with a 'condition'. It occurred to me as I read the book that there are so many idioms and colloquial sayings in daily usage, which are totally meaningless. 'Pull your socks up' or 'I laughed my head off' come to mind, to a person with Asperger's, these would be at best rather silly, at worst tragic!
I enjoyed Dannie's Dilemmas and would recommend the book to anyone with an interest in Aspergers syndrome. The interactive idea works well and the different endings to the scenarios is a stroke of genius, for the purposes of reviewing the book I read both endings and found I could relate to both the child and her mother's decisions.
Well done Lennie and Karen and best of luck with the book, it is a credit to you both and of course to 'Dannie' without whom the book would never have been written!
©Linda Blomquist. January 2010.
Tuesday, 12 January 2010
Dannie's quote of the day
This one goes back to when Dannie was in nursery school, we had our mothers day party at the nursery and all the kids and parents were all sitting around in a circle singing nursery rhymes, needless to say Dannie sang the loudest out of everyone (actually she was shouting).
She had been asked several times to use her 'indoor voice' by one of the assistants.
Which they had to remind her to do on a constant basis.
"I am" Dannie screamed back in anger.
Anyway they started to sing the rainbow song and Dannie sang along
"red and yellow and pink and orange and purple and blue." at the top of her voice.
She sang this chorus several times before one of the assistants interupted her and asked politely. "Dannie, what happened to green?"
"I don't like green." was Dannie's blunt response as she carried on singing.
Example of how you cannot change the opinion of an as child.
She had been asked several times to use her 'indoor voice' by one of the assistants.
Which they had to remind her to do on a constant basis.
"I am" Dannie screamed back in anger.
Anyway they started to sing the rainbow song and Dannie sang along
"red and yellow and pink and orange and purple and blue." at the top of her voice.
She sang this chorus several times before one of the assistants interupted her and asked politely. "Dannie, what happened to green?"
"I don't like green." was Dannie's blunt response as she carried on singing.
Example of how you cannot change the opinion of an as child.
Sunday, 10 January 2010
Dannie's quote of the day
This one still makes me cringe even today, eight years later.
Dannie has went through numerous imaginary friends, mostly animals as that is Dannie's passion. Animals and Books.
This particular time when Dannie was around seven, she had an imaginary cat. This one lasted longer than most. She must have went on about this cat for about four months and I am afraid to say it was starting to get on my nerves.
Every time we went out, the cat had to come, we ate, the cat had to eat. We watched films, the cat had to watch. It even walked her to school and she would not go in until I personally had called the cat and told it to come home with me. If I remember rightly the cat was called snowdrop(A black cat) but there you go.
Now for some reason the cat was never around when we were ready to go out, eat, watch films, go to school. We had to wait for Dannie to find it first, then wait till Dannie was sure it was there before we could begin.
But being at the school playground and calling "snowdrop" as quietly as I could only for Dannie to tell me the cat couldn't hear me shout louder, well I'm sure you can imagine the way I was feeling. But we continued.
Until one night when I enough was enough, I was trying to get Dannie to bed but she couldn't find the cat, she finally found it on our stairs and sat on the stairs pretending to stroke the cat.
I lost it big time, I was tired and wanted Dannie in bed and here she was playing with the damn cat again.
I did no more than pick up fresh air next to Dannie, which is where I roughly believed the cat to be.
And said to Dannie, "this is what I think of the damn cat." (Oh the shame of it now.)
And I proceeded to kick this fresh air down the stairs.
Dannie didn't buge an inch she just looked up at me and said "Mum, what are you doing? Snowdrop is over there."
And pointed to the top of the stairs.
Need I say more!!!
I humbly walked upstairs and left her to it.
Example of imaginary friends.
Dannie has went through numerous imaginary friends, mostly animals as that is Dannie's passion. Animals and Books.
This particular time when Dannie was around seven, she had an imaginary cat. This one lasted longer than most. She must have went on about this cat for about four months and I am afraid to say it was starting to get on my nerves.
Every time we went out, the cat had to come, we ate, the cat had to eat. We watched films, the cat had to watch. It even walked her to school and she would not go in until I personally had called the cat and told it to come home with me. If I remember rightly the cat was called snowdrop(A black cat) but there you go.
Now for some reason the cat was never around when we were ready to go out, eat, watch films, go to school. We had to wait for Dannie to find it first, then wait till Dannie was sure it was there before we could begin.
But being at the school playground and calling "snowdrop" as quietly as I could only for Dannie to tell me the cat couldn't hear me shout louder, well I'm sure you can imagine the way I was feeling. But we continued.
Until one night when I enough was enough, I was trying to get Dannie to bed but she couldn't find the cat, she finally found it on our stairs and sat on the stairs pretending to stroke the cat.
I lost it big time, I was tired and wanted Dannie in bed and here she was playing with the damn cat again.
I did no more than pick up fresh air next to Dannie, which is where I roughly believed the cat to be.
And said to Dannie, "this is what I think of the damn cat." (Oh the shame of it now.)
And I proceeded to kick this fresh air down the stairs.
Dannie didn't buge an inch she just looked up at me and said "Mum, what are you doing? Snowdrop is over there."
And pointed to the top of the stairs.
Need I say more!!!
I humbly walked upstairs and left her to it.
Example of imaginary friends.
Saturday, 9 January 2010
Dannie's quote of the day
When Dannie was six, I had organised a surprise party for her at our house, I thought I had done great, The house was all decorated, all her friends were invited and Dannie had went to a friends house straight from school so she had no idea what was going on at the house.
I purposefully didn't put any decorations outside the house as I didn't want to spoil the surprise.
Around 4.30pm all her friends started to arrive, the food was all made and everything was set.
I had arranged for Dannie to come home around 4.45pm.
At 4.50pm, Dannie knocked on the front door, I asked all the kids to keep quiet and proceeded to let Dannie in.
Dannie came through the door and all her friends shouted "Surprise, Happy Birthday,"
Dannie did no more than ran out of the house and hid in the neighbour hood.
It took three adults to go and find her, everyone else just stood, shocked and didn't know where to turn.
20 minutes later myself a two other parents found Dannie hiding in the local playpark under the slide.
"Send them away." was all Dannie kept saying.
I did finally manage to get Dannie home and once she had calmed down, she did enjoy her party but I can assure you I have never made the same mistake again.
I didn't know where to turn.
Example of Surprises.
I purposefully didn't put any decorations outside the house as I didn't want to spoil the surprise.
Around 4.30pm all her friends started to arrive, the food was all made and everything was set.
I had arranged for Dannie to come home around 4.45pm.
At 4.50pm, Dannie knocked on the front door, I asked all the kids to keep quiet and proceeded to let Dannie in.
Dannie came through the door and all her friends shouted "Surprise, Happy Birthday,"
Dannie did no more than ran out of the house and hid in the neighbour hood.
It took three adults to go and find her, everyone else just stood, shocked and didn't know where to turn.
20 minutes later myself a two other parents found Dannie hiding in the local playpark under the slide.
"Send them away." was all Dannie kept saying.
I did finally manage to get Dannie home and once she had calmed down, she did enjoy her party but I can assure you I have never made the same mistake again.
I didn't know where to turn.
Example of Surprises.
Friday, 8 January 2010
Quote of the day
When I once told Dannie not to put all her eggs in one basket, she went into the kitchen and took all the eggs out of the fridge and started placing them around the house, I asked her what on earth she was doing, she said "Putting our eggs in different baskets."
As I stopped her (before we ended up with omlette all over the house.)
I had to explain to her what I meant.
I was actually referring to the fact that she had some pocket money and she had it in her mind that she was going to a certian shop to add to her collection of 'Littlest Pets' (which at the time she had hundreds) But she was going for specific pets, and was determined that these pets would be in this one shop.
All I was trying to explain was that the shop may not have those particular pets and she would have to look in other shops as well.
Example of not understanding idioms.
As I stopped her (before we ended up with omlette all over the house.)
I had to explain to her what I meant.
I was actually referring to the fact that she had some pocket money and she had it in her mind that she was going to a certian shop to add to her collection of 'Littlest Pets' (which at the time she had hundreds) But she was going for specific pets, and was determined that these pets would be in this one shop.
All I was trying to explain was that the shop may not have those particular pets and she would have to look in other shops as well.
Example of not understanding idioms.
Thursday, 7 January 2010
Dannie's quote of the day
When Dannie was shown how to write a letter at school and the teacher told her you alsways start a letter from the right hand side with your address, Dannie asked "Are you sure?"
"Of course I am" her teacher replied.
"A bit weird but ok." Dannie said.
Twenty minutes later Dannie took her letter to show the teacher and she had written the whole letter backwards, I was called into school to see the letter, If you put a mirror to the letter you would be able to read it.
The Deputy Head asked Dannie was it hard writing like that.
"No apart from the E the rest was easy."
True Story
Example of taking people literally.
"Of course I am" her teacher replied.
"A bit weird but ok." Dannie said.
Twenty minutes later Dannie took her letter to show the teacher and she had written the whole letter backwards, I was called into school to see the letter, If you put a mirror to the letter you would be able to read it.
The Deputy Head asked Dannie was it hard writing like that.
"No apart from the E the rest was easy."
True Story
Example of taking people literally.
A Little info about Dannie
"Dannie" (which is not my daughters real name as she is too young to be named I feel).Is now 15, In the books she is ten (thats when I started recording what she was up to).
She is very bright,sarcastic, funny, well mannered (now), and is never afraid to tell you exactly what she is thinking.
She LOVES reading (she wanted me to buy her a library for her xmas) Yeah right!
She is an avid horse rider, and loves talking on facebook.
I wish she would stop growing as she is nearly as tall as me lol.
Still has many problems with her aspergers but she does her best to cope with them.
All in all, she is the most beautiful girl in the world and I wouldnt change her for anything.
She is very bright,sarcastic, funny, well mannered (now), and is never afraid to tell you exactly what she is thinking.
She LOVES reading (she wanted me to buy her a library for her xmas) Yeah right!
She is an avid horse rider, and loves talking on facebook.
I wish she would stop growing as she is nearly as tall as me lol.
Still has many problems with her aspergers but she does her best to cope with them.
All in all, she is the most beautiful girl in the world and I wouldnt change her for anything.
Wednesday, 6 January 2010
Dannie's quote of the day
When Dannie was in a sweet shop and the assistant asked her did she want some old fashioned toffee Dannie's reply was "Depends How Old?"
Example of literal thinking
Example of literal thinking
Description From Dannie's Dilemma Book 2
Can Dannie make the right decisions with your help?
‘Dannie’s Dilemas’ is a series of books designed to show the difficulties that children with Aspergers Syndrome face on a daily basis.
The books are an interactive way for readers to get involved with Dannie’s Dilemas. The reader has the ability to choose the way the stories end. This makes them unique in their own way.
Dannie is an eleven year old Aspergers child, she is smart, friendly and very helpful, but due to the Aspergers she finds it difficult to assess situations, work out what people think and really mean, make daily choices and understand emotions and sayings.
Like most Aspergers children Dannie does find herself in trouble quite a few times for taking people literally, especially with idioms, ‘Dannie’s Dilemas’ tries to explain as many idioms as possible.
Seeing life through Dannie’s eyes shows us all how emotionally difficult it is for Aspergers children to understand the world that we take for granted every day.
In ‘The Spelling Saga’ Dannie has a secret about her spellings which she does not want to tell anybody. Dannie believes that a secret should be kept at all times.
Dannie finds herself in trouble in the morning as she is avoiding learning her spellings with her mother. Her avoidance makes her run late and she misses her TV time before going to school. This creates arguments and tantrums.
While Dannie is at school, she notices that the date is wrong on the class white board and Dannie creates a disturbance once more. As she cannot let the matter drop and insists that the date has to be fixed.
During lunch time Dannie meets up with her friends, during a conversation one of Dannie’s friends mentions about Dannie’s recent spelling tests. How Dannie was very good at spellings and has been top of the class. Dannie begins to feel unwell and cannot work out why she is feeling sick, Dannie ignores the feeling and leaves her friends.
Later in the day Dannie completes her spelling test but cannot shake the sick feeling. Dannie is sent to the school nurse who tries to inform Dannie that the reason she is feeling ill is due to the fact that she is hiding something. Dannie gets very upset and runs out of the nurse’s office and heads back to her classroom, wondering if the nurse could be right and if she really was feeling ill because of her secret.
When Dannie returns to class, Dannie’s teacher Miss Phillips calls Dannie to inform her that once again Dannie has top marks in her spelling test. Dannie receives lots of praise for her work and merits for doing so well. Miss Phillips also tells Dannie that because she is doing so well with the spellings, she feels that Dannie should try some harder spellings. This makes Dannie feel even worse than before and the sick feeling is getting stronger.
After school, Dannie’s mother asks Dannie how she got on with her spelling test and Dannie avoids answering her as much as possible. Dannie’s mother finally insists that she sees Dannie’s spellings for the coming week and Dannie has no choice but to show her mother the difficult spellings that Miss Phillips gave Dannie earlier.
Dannie’s mother reacted angrily at the spellings set out for Dannie and assumes that Dannie’s teacher is bullying Dannie as her mother knows that Dannie cannot spell and doesn’t understand why a teacher would give a child who cannot spell words which would be impossible for her to learn.
The sick feeling that Dannie had been suffering with all day finally erupts, Dannie ends up being sick in Dannie’s mother’s friend’s house and this is where Dannie’s Dilemma begins.
Should Dannie tell someone her secret? Or should Dannie keep quiet, and tell no one?
Only the reader can decide the outcome.
‘Dannie’s Dilemas’ is a series of books designed to show the difficulties that children with Aspergers Syndrome face on a daily basis.
The books are an interactive way for readers to get involved with Dannie’s Dilemas. The reader has the ability to choose the way the stories end. This makes them unique in their own way.
Dannie is an eleven year old Aspergers child, she is smart, friendly and very helpful, but due to the Aspergers she finds it difficult to assess situations, work out what people think and really mean, make daily choices and understand emotions and sayings.
Like most Aspergers children Dannie does find herself in trouble quite a few times for taking people literally, especially with idioms, ‘Dannie’s Dilemas’ tries to explain as many idioms as possible.
Seeing life through Dannie’s eyes shows us all how emotionally difficult it is for Aspergers children to understand the world that we take for granted every day.
In ‘The Spelling Saga’ Dannie has a secret about her spellings which she does not want to tell anybody. Dannie believes that a secret should be kept at all times.
Dannie finds herself in trouble in the morning as she is avoiding learning her spellings with her mother. Her avoidance makes her run late and she misses her TV time before going to school. This creates arguments and tantrums.
While Dannie is at school, she notices that the date is wrong on the class white board and Dannie creates a disturbance once more. As she cannot let the matter drop and insists that the date has to be fixed.
During lunch time Dannie meets up with her friends, during a conversation one of Dannie’s friends mentions about Dannie’s recent spelling tests. How Dannie was very good at spellings and has been top of the class. Dannie begins to feel unwell and cannot work out why she is feeling sick, Dannie ignores the feeling and leaves her friends.
Later in the day Dannie completes her spelling test but cannot shake the sick feeling. Dannie is sent to the school nurse who tries to inform Dannie that the reason she is feeling ill is due to the fact that she is hiding something. Dannie gets very upset and runs out of the nurse’s office and heads back to her classroom, wondering if the nurse could be right and if she really was feeling ill because of her secret.
When Dannie returns to class, Dannie’s teacher Miss Phillips calls Dannie to inform her that once again Dannie has top marks in her spelling test. Dannie receives lots of praise for her work and merits for doing so well. Miss Phillips also tells Dannie that because she is doing so well with the spellings, she feels that Dannie should try some harder spellings. This makes Dannie feel even worse than before and the sick feeling is getting stronger.
After school, Dannie’s mother asks Dannie how she got on with her spelling test and Dannie avoids answering her as much as possible. Dannie’s mother finally insists that she sees Dannie’s spellings for the coming week and Dannie has no choice but to show her mother the difficult spellings that Miss Phillips gave Dannie earlier.
Dannie’s mother reacted angrily at the spellings set out for Dannie and assumes that Dannie’s teacher is bullying Dannie as her mother knows that Dannie cannot spell and doesn’t understand why a teacher would give a child who cannot spell words which would be impossible for her to learn.
The sick feeling that Dannie had been suffering with all day finally erupts, Dannie ends up being sick in Dannie’s mother’s friend’s house and this is where Dannie’s Dilemma begins.
Should Dannie tell someone her secret? Or should Dannie keep quiet, and tell no one?
Only the reader can decide the outcome.
Description from Dannie's Dilemmas Book 1
Can Dannie make the right decisions with your help?
‘Dannie’s Dilemmas’ is a series of books designed to show the difficulties that children with Aspergers Syndrome face on a daily basis. These books are an interactive way for readers to get involved with ‘Dannie’s Dilemmas.’ The reader has the ability to choose the way the stories end. This makes them unique in their own way.
Dannie is an eleven year old Aspergers child, she is smart, friendly and very helpful, but due to the Aspergers she finds it difficult to assess situations, work out what people think and really mean, make daily choices and understand emotions and sayings.
Like most Aspergers children Dannie does find herself in trouble quite a few times for taking people literally, especially with idioms. ‘Dannie’s Dilemmas’ tries to explain as many idioms as possible.
Seeing life through Dannie’s eyes shows us all how emotionally difficult it is for Aspergers children to understand the world that we take for granted every day.
In ‘The Shopping Trip’ Dannie has some pocket money to spend and Dannie’s mother has promised to take her shopping for a new toy.
Dannie has problems organising herself to get ready to go out and constantly gets distracted and sidetracked.
Dannie’s mother explains to her that they have to go to a few shops before her shop. During this time Dannie gets impatient and bored, all she wants to do is go to her shop.
While in a sweet shop Dannie finds it difficult to understand the shop assistant and takes what the assistant says literally and finds herself in trouble.
Dannie eventually makes it to the toy shop, she is overwhelmed by the amount of toys to choose from and thus Dannie’s Dilemma begins, should she ask for her mothers help or should she choose for herself? The reader will choose her decision.
In ‘The Right Shoes,’ Dannie has to go shopping for some new shoes for school. Dannie hates shoe shopping as she finds it very stressful, therefore is not looking forward to this shopping trip.
Although Dannie has many pairs of new trainers, she insists on wearing an old pair of pink trainers that are falling apart. Dannie’s mother refuses to leave the house until Dannie has changed her trainers. Dannie has to choose one of her new pairs of trainers to wear which she does methodically and reluctantly. Dannie feels very uncomfortable in her new trainers but perseveres with them. Outside the shoe shop Dannie’s mother tells her that she must behave and listen to what the shop assistant tells her to do. Dannie does not approve as she believes the only person who knows Dannie’s feet and what’s best to wear is herself.
While Dannie is waiting for the assistant, Dannie’s mother takes the assistant to one side and explains that Dannie has Aspergers. She explains that Dannie may take a little longer than other children to choose the right shoes and asks the assistant to show her a little more patience.
While Dannie’s mother is looking around the shop for some shoes for Dannie to try on, the assistant doesn’t show any patience towards Dannie but instead speaks down to Dannie and treats her like an infant.
Dannie takes offence to the way she is being treated and retaliates against the assistant. Dannie cannot understand why she is being treated this way and gets angry.
The assistant and Dannie argue back and forth until the assistant puts her foot down and calls Dannie’s mother over to fix the problem.
This is when Dannie’s Dilemma begins, Dannie has to decide whether to tell her mother how she is being treated or to keep quiet and say nothing. The reader will decide the outcome.
‘Dannie’s Dilemmas’ is a series of books designed to show the difficulties that children with Aspergers Syndrome face on a daily basis. These books are an interactive way for readers to get involved with ‘Dannie’s Dilemmas.’ The reader has the ability to choose the way the stories end. This makes them unique in their own way.
Dannie is an eleven year old Aspergers child, she is smart, friendly and very helpful, but due to the Aspergers she finds it difficult to assess situations, work out what people think and really mean, make daily choices and understand emotions and sayings.
Like most Aspergers children Dannie does find herself in trouble quite a few times for taking people literally, especially with idioms. ‘Dannie’s Dilemmas’ tries to explain as many idioms as possible.
Seeing life through Dannie’s eyes shows us all how emotionally difficult it is for Aspergers children to understand the world that we take for granted every day.
In ‘The Shopping Trip’ Dannie has some pocket money to spend and Dannie’s mother has promised to take her shopping for a new toy.
Dannie has problems organising herself to get ready to go out and constantly gets distracted and sidetracked.
Dannie’s mother explains to her that they have to go to a few shops before her shop. During this time Dannie gets impatient and bored, all she wants to do is go to her shop.
While in a sweet shop Dannie finds it difficult to understand the shop assistant and takes what the assistant says literally and finds herself in trouble.
Dannie eventually makes it to the toy shop, she is overwhelmed by the amount of toys to choose from and thus Dannie’s Dilemma begins, should she ask for her mothers help or should she choose for herself? The reader will choose her decision.
In ‘The Right Shoes,’ Dannie has to go shopping for some new shoes for school. Dannie hates shoe shopping as she finds it very stressful, therefore is not looking forward to this shopping trip.
Although Dannie has many pairs of new trainers, she insists on wearing an old pair of pink trainers that are falling apart. Dannie’s mother refuses to leave the house until Dannie has changed her trainers. Dannie has to choose one of her new pairs of trainers to wear which she does methodically and reluctantly. Dannie feels very uncomfortable in her new trainers but perseveres with them. Outside the shoe shop Dannie’s mother tells her that she must behave and listen to what the shop assistant tells her to do. Dannie does not approve as she believes the only person who knows Dannie’s feet and what’s best to wear is herself.
While Dannie is waiting for the assistant, Dannie’s mother takes the assistant to one side and explains that Dannie has Aspergers. She explains that Dannie may take a little longer than other children to choose the right shoes and asks the assistant to show her a little more patience.
While Dannie’s mother is looking around the shop for some shoes for Dannie to try on, the assistant doesn’t show any patience towards Dannie but instead speaks down to Dannie and treats her like an infant.
Dannie takes offence to the way she is being treated and retaliates against the assistant. Dannie cannot understand why she is being treated this way and gets angry.
The assistant and Dannie argue back and forth until the assistant puts her foot down and calls Dannie’s mother over to fix the problem.
This is when Dannie’s Dilemma begins, Dannie has to decide whether to tell her mother how she is being treated or to keep quiet and say nothing. The reader will decide the outcome.
Sample Our Work
Although this blog has only just started we have had numerous requests already from some twitters for sample works of our books which I gratefully add, thank you to all the twitters who are following this blog I hope it will help in some way. If you are interested in reviewing these books for further information to others then please feel free to ask for a copy and I will do what I can.
Thanks again to all you twitters out there lets hope this grows continually.
Thanks again to all you twitters out there lets hope this grows continually.
Tuesday, 5 January 2010
How Dannie's Dilemma Got Started
Hi all who are out there I just thought I would start this blog with an introduction on how Dannie's Dilemmas came about.
I am a parent of an aspergers child (now a teenager). I fought for many years just to get her diagnosed.
When at the age of seven she was finally diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome and ADHD, I was relieved, but my relief was short lived. I basically was told, your daughter is autistic and goodbye.
So that was the end of that, well they did give me a lovely leaflet on the medical jargon of what autism was but that was the end of the conversation.
I searched the web, bookstores, you name it I tried it to get more info on what to expect but all I could find was more mind boggling medical terms and nothing but terms of what autism was.
All I was looking for was some examples of what to expect, what part of her behaviour was autistic related and what wasn't.
But all I could find was the same info wherever I looked, sure they explained that autistic kids take things literally and that they have no expressions and so on and so forth. But I was looking for examples, like what would they take literally, show me an example.
Anyway that is how Dannie's Dilemmas was born. We decided to write a book about the day in the life of Dannie from Dannie's point of veiw, exactly what she did and how she did it.
So then we started to think about the kids, how can we get across to the kids that there is another way of doing things without sounding as if we are nagging them and always critisising how they react to things, thats where the interactive section came into the books, give the kids two different endings.
One which I know from experience that Dannie has done and the other which is what I would have liked her to do. So from there Dannie's Dilemmas was born and continues, we are currently writing Book three and are trying to get at least three to four books a year out there.
The series will cover different subjects from friendships to bullying, literal thinking to social interaction, idioms to facial expressions, reading between the lines and puberty the list is endless.
The books start from when Dannie was ten, she is now fifteen and still surprising me every day, so you can imagine how many more books are yet to come.
In an ideal world, i would have enough money to hand these books out to every asperger child free of charge but unfortunatly this is no ideal world.
This may be my first blog but rest assured it wont be my last, feel free to ask me anything I can help you with and if I dont know then Dannie is always close to hand to help on any subject you need help with. I will sign off now but will return tomorrow, again anything I can help with just blog or email me anytime
Lennie (my friends all call me Lennie).
I am a parent of an aspergers child (now a teenager). I fought for many years just to get her diagnosed.
When at the age of seven she was finally diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome and ADHD, I was relieved, but my relief was short lived. I basically was told, your daughter is autistic and goodbye.
So that was the end of that, well they did give me a lovely leaflet on the medical jargon of what autism was but that was the end of the conversation.
I searched the web, bookstores, you name it I tried it to get more info on what to expect but all I could find was more mind boggling medical terms and nothing but terms of what autism was.
All I was looking for was some examples of what to expect, what part of her behaviour was autistic related and what wasn't.
But all I could find was the same info wherever I looked, sure they explained that autistic kids take things literally and that they have no expressions and so on and so forth. But I was looking for examples, like what would they take literally, show me an example.
Anyway that is how Dannie's Dilemmas was born. We decided to write a book about the day in the life of Dannie from Dannie's point of veiw, exactly what she did and how she did it.
So then we started to think about the kids, how can we get across to the kids that there is another way of doing things without sounding as if we are nagging them and always critisising how they react to things, thats where the interactive section came into the books, give the kids two different endings.
One which I know from experience that Dannie has done and the other which is what I would have liked her to do. So from there Dannie's Dilemmas was born and continues, we are currently writing Book three and are trying to get at least three to four books a year out there.
The series will cover different subjects from friendships to bullying, literal thinking to social interaction, idioms to facial expressions, reading between the lines and puberty the list is endless.
The books start from when Dannie was ten, she is now fifteen and still surprising me every day, so you can imagine how many more books are yet to come.
In an ideal world, i would have enough money to hand these books out to every asperger child free of charge but unfortunatly this is no ideal world.
This may be my first blog but rest assured it wont be my last, feel free to ask me anything I can help you with and if I dont know then Dannie is always close to hand to help on any subject you need help with. I will sign off now but will return tomorrow, again anything I can help with just blog or email me anytime
Lennie (my friends all call me Lennie).
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